


Immature

by americanphancakes



Series: Wingless Angel timestamps [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Awkward Dates, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 22:38:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17796065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanphancakes/pseuds/americanphancakes
Summary: Valentine's Day 2011. Lonely pop star Dan Howell is ashamed to admit that he was hoping his producer and crush, Phil Lester, might do something for him. But there's only an hour and 15 minutes left of the day, and Dan is facing the reality that Phil probably hasn't thought about him today. ...or has he?(Fills in some details from a big timeskip in "The Era of the Wingless Angel," but you don't need to have read TEotWA to understand & enjoy this fic.)





	Immature

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ColorMeHazelnut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorMeHazelnut/gifts).



> Thanks so much to colormehazelnut and a tumblr anon for sending me the prompts that sparked this fic! It ended up taking longer to write than expected, so I'm uploading this at 1 AM on the 15th. hahahahaha whoops :P
> 
> This takes place between chapters 10 and 11 of Wingless Angel. You don't need to have read that fic to like this one, but if you're a fan of that AU, this will fill in some blanks between the HKL split and when Dan started to become distant when working with Phil.
> 
> Enjoy!

**_2011_ **

 

_ We’re not wishing for all that much. _

 

Daniel hadn’t heard from Phil yet today. Which sucked, because it was Valentine’s Day.

 

He felt silly being so bothered by it. Phil was a great producer and co-writer, nothing more. Sure, with Phil he felt more loved and protected than he’d felt in entire life. And last year, when Daniel had freaked out and hid rather than finish the promo tour for HKL’s album, Phil didn’t rest until he knew where Daniel was and that he was safe. As a result of that, it had by now become a comfortably routine thing for them to go to one another’s homes to work on new songs. Daniel had even stayed overnight at Phil’s multiple times, particularly when his mother’s mood swings had proven to be too much for him to handle.

 

But now Phil had all these other artists he was working with. All these other images and brands and sounds to develop. Visits to Phil’s were becoming more and more infrequent. Daniel felt left behind. He missed when it was just the two of them.

 

Curled up on his bed watching anime, Daniel was focusing so hard on trying to breathe that he couldn’t even pay attention to what was happening on the screen. He sighed and turned it off, letting the room’s ambience snap to pitch darkness and silence.

 

_ Reality check, _ he thought to himself.  _ You’re no different than Chris or PJ or any other Lester Music artist. You’re not anyone special. Just another brand. He doesn’t even call you Daniel… not as though he’s ever asked what you prefer to be called. _

 

Even if Phil did think of Daniel in a romantic way, they could never have been  _ officially _ together. Doing anything for Valentine’s Day would have been reckless -- even if they didn’t call themselves “boyfriends,” anyone who caught them doing something special on February 14th would assume the label applied. But poor Daniel still held the tiniest shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, by the end of the day today, Phil might do something unusually sweet or kind for him. 

 

But no. The day had been just another Monday. It had been all business.

 

Then Daniel’s phone buzzed at 10:45 PM.

 

**Phil Lester**

Are your mum and nan awake?

 

**Dan Howell**

of course not you spork

it’s almost 11 wtf

 

**Phil Lester**

Okay good.

 

Daniel’s brow furrowed.  _ “Okay good”? What could that mean? _

 

Suddenly he heard a burst of light tap sounds on his window. He perked up to listen. After a moment, the uneven, scattering tapping sound returned.

 

“What the hell…?”

 

He got up from his bed and stepped curiously toward the window. When he looked down at the street below, there was Phil, a pile of tiny pebbles sitting in his left hand, waving hello with his right as he absolutely beamed at Daniel in the window above.

 

Daniel slid the glass pane up and joyfully called in a loud whisper, “What on earth are you doing?”

 

Phil held up the pebbles. “Being… I dunno… spontaneous?”

 

“And why is it good that my family is asleep?”

 

“Because it means we have to be quiet and sneaky!”

 

“But why’s that  _ good _ ?” Daniel laughed.

 

Phil shrugged with one shoulder. “More romantic that way.”

 

Dan’s face relaxed, and he felt his breathing become shallow. Romantic? Had he actually heard Phil properly? He smiled and tilted his head. “That’s against the rules, you know.”

 

“Florp the rules.”

 

Daniel giggled loudly. “Florp?”

 

“I don’t like swearing,” Phil said with a shrug and a grin.

 

Daniel shook his head fondly.

 

“Come down?” Phil finally said. “I wanna take you somewhere.”

 

***

 

Daniel rushed to put on proper clothes, his shoes, and a reasonably heavy coat, grabbing his phone and house key and nothing else. If he died and had no ID on him, so be it. He didn’t care.

 

He floated downstairs on the balls of his feet, getting to the front door as quickly and silently as he could. He closed the door as slowly as possible, turning the key in the lock gently so as not to wake anyone or get anyone’s attention if they were awake.

 

Phil had a mischievous, knowing grin on his face as they approached one another.

 

“So,” Daniel said in a quiet but mostly normal voice. “Where are we going?”

 

“I don’t know,” Phil said with a nervous laugh. “I just knew I wanted you to sneak out of the tower where you were trapped so you could come on an adventure with me.”

 

“At 11 at night?”

 

Phil nodded emphatically.

 

Daniel gave Phil a sideways smile. “You forgot it was Valentine’s Day until like an hour ago, didn’t you?”

 

Phil’s mouth extended into a nervous, bittersweet grin. “Am I in trouble if I say yes?”

 

“Never,” Daniel said. “Come on, Phil. Let’s go adventuring.”

 

***

 

_ Who is that, I wondered, _

_ hiding in the shadows of these grey buildings? _

_ I rubbed my eyes and took a peek _

_ to see me, the child I once was, and you. _

 

“Soho?” Daniel said with a whine. “But this is like going to work!”

 

“I’m honestly, really, actually sorry,” Phil said. “But the only place I know is open this late on a Monday is the pub behind the recording studio.”

 

Daniel scoffed. “Fine, but I’m going to make you spend so much money on me.”

 

Phil couldn’t help but laugh as he parked the car.

 

Luckily for Phil, Daniel -- being a 19 year old -- was quite a cheap date. When the pub closed at midnight, Daniel was only 3 drinks in and completely gone.

 

“What happened to me spending ‘so much money’ on you?” Phil asked with a giggle as Daniel wobbled next to him out the door.

 

“You did you just don’t know it yet,” Daniel said nonsensically. “Don’t take me home yet I don’t wanna go home yet.”

 

“What do you want to do then?” Phil said. “The only places that are open now are like… members-only places.”

 

“You’re a big hotshot record producer,” Daniel slurred. “Why aren’t you a member yet?”

 

“I’m not a big hotshot anything.”

 

“Ooh!!” Daniel suddenly exclaimed, ignoring Phil. “Let’s sneak across the street and sit on one of the benches.”

 

“The park’s closed though,” Phil said. “I mean you can try and hop the fence, but you’re awfully uncoordinated right now.”

 

“I’m gonna hop the fence!”

 

“I shouldn’t have put the idea in your head.”

 

“I’m gonna. I’m gonna hop the fence.”

 

Daniel had the presence of mind to check for cars before crossing the narrow street to the closed park, but he still walked an awkwardly zig-zagging path.

 

“Dan, come on,” Phil said, an odd combination of frustrated and amused. Across the street, Daniel was awkwardly lodging his shoe between the bars of the waist-high wrought-iron fence, trying to find a foothold that wouldn’t involve his sole getting uncomfortably poked at. Phil rolled his eyes and crossed over to him.

 

“This is not easy,” Daniel said. “It looks easy when you’re not actually doing it but when you’re doing it it’s not easy at all.”

 

“Maybe don’t do it then?” Phil chuckled.

 

“Why are you being such a…” Daniel hesitated, trying to think of the phrase his old friend Callum used to call him. Unable to recall it, he merely blew a raspberry at Phil.

 

Phil stifled a laugh. “Very dignified, Dan.”

 

“Stick-in-the-mud!” Daniel suddenly said, giving up and standing on the pavement to face Phil. “That’s you, you’re a stick-in-the-mud.” He poked Phil in the chest and then turned back toward the fence, sizing it up.

 

Phil smirked. “Do you want me to help you?”

 

“No, I can do it,” Dan said, returning to his position attempting to jump the fence. “I can do the hoppy climby thing.”

 

Phil shook his head, put one foot awkwardly diagonally between two bars of the fence, planted his other foot firmly between two others, stepped up onto the top part of the fence, and then deftly hopped over onto the grass within the boundaries of the park.

 

“How did you do that?” Dan pleaded. Phil giggled.

 

“Come on,” Phil said, taking one of Daniel’s hands into his and setting it on his shoulder. “Step up,” Phil suggested, and Daniel did as asked, using Phil’s shoulder as leverage. “Okay, now just step over. It’s better if you do it fast.”

 

“Okay,” Daniel said, nodding. He mimicked Phil’s steps over the fence as best he could, however he lacked Phil’s coordination and fell over forward, pushing Phil onto his back on the grass. They both laughed like the drunken fools they were, and Daniel rolled off Phil.

 

“Ow,” Phil said, laughing through the pain. “I landed right on my arse.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Daniel laughed. “Holy shit we’re drunk.”

 

“Speak for yourself,” Phil said, standing up. He reached his hand out to Daniel. “You wanted to sit on a bench?”

 

“Did I?” Daniel said. “Oh yeah, I did!” He grabbed Phil’s hand, and as they walked together towards the benches inside the park, he nearly tripped over the two small steps up on the way. Phil couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“You’re hopeless,” he said.

 

“Yeah well, you’re… a… Fuck, I am shit at insults when I’m drunk!”

 

They eventually sat, only for Phil to stand right back up again. “I forgot!”

 

“Forgot what?” Daniel said, beginning to get up.

 

“No no no,” Phil said. “You wait there. I have a thing.”

 

“A thing?”

 

“In my car. For you.”

 

“Um… okay?”

 

With that, Phil hopped over the fence, crossed the street to his car, and retrieved an Asda bag from the back seat. Daniel, watching over his shoulder, narrowed his eyes in confusion. Phil returned, hopping over the fence for a third time with the bag hanging from his wrist (an amusing sight for Daniel to see), and excitedly handed Daniel the bag. “Happy Valentine’s Day!” he said, plopping down onto the bench next to him.

 

Daniel smiled and shook his head as he pulled a plastic bakery container and a card out of the bag. He read the card first.

 

“Sorry I didn’t have time to put it in an envelope,” Phil said.

 

The card had a drawing of a computer on the front. Daniel read the text aloud. “Valentine, you really mean a lot to me. I trust you so much…” He opened the card to read the inside. “I’d even show you my browser history.” Daniel laughed far more than the card deserved. “Oh my god.”

 

“You really must still be wasted if you found that funny,” Phil quipped.

 

Under the card was a container of cheese danish crown pastries. “Oooo,” Daniel hummed. He immediately opened it and took a bite of one. “Oh my god,” he moaned, his eyes rolling back into his head. “You’re amazing.”

 

“And here I was ready to explain why no chocolate,” Phil said.

 

“You bought these at like 10 pm  _ on _ Valentine’s Day! Of  _ course _ there was no chocolate anything at that point.”

 

“Touche.”

 

“D’you want some?” Daniel offered, holding his danish up in offering.

 

“Nah, not really a cheese person.”

 

Daniel swallowed the bite that was in his mouth. “Not a cheese person? Who’s not a cheese person?”

 

“Me, I guess,” Phil said, chuckling somewhat nervously.

 

Daniel stopped for a beat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound, like… judgmental or anything. You’re allowed to not like cheese. ‘S just food.”

 

“Perfectly okay.”

 

“Cream cheese doesn’t even really taste like cheese though.”

 

“Still,” Phil said, “I dunno. Don’t really wanna risk it.”

 

Daniel shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said. “More for me!”

 

_ We’re allowed to have days when we believe _

_ that we were definitely born to be happy, aren’t we? _

 

***

 

Daniel was entirely sobered up by the time they returned to his home. Phil stopped the car and looked over at Daniel, who was already gazing fondly back at him.

 

“I’m sorry this wasn’t, like… an ideal Valentine’s night,” Phil said.

 

“Are you joking?” Daniel scoffed. “I got drunk in Soho, jumped over a fence into a closed park, ate too much cheese danish, and got a really cheesy-but-sweet greeting card from big hotshot record producer and label president Phil Lester.”

 

Phil laughed and shook his head. “And I got to spend my evening with famous ex-actor and current pop star Dan Howell of HKL!”

 

Daniel laughed. “Well, not ‘of HKL’ anymore,” he said, recalling the split of HKL. He’d lately begun to miss being in the group, especially now that PJ had moved to another city and he and Chris were finally mending their friendship after a minor but dramatic falling out. Now Dan was working on his own solo material and he was terrified. “I’m not really anything now, am I?”

 

Phil shook his head. “You’re definitely something,” he said quietly.

 

Daniel felt himself tense up. He loved hearing Phil say things like that. But he hated it almost as much.

 

Phil looked into Daniel’s eyes, and Daniel could see them flicking left and right, left and right… then down, and back up again.

 

Perhaps Daniel wasn’t entirely sober as he leaned forward, tilting his head slightly to one side. His lips were so close to their destination when Phil leaned back to evade them and put a hand gently on Daniel’s chest, pushing him back.

 

“Wait, Dan.”

 

_ We saw what happened when we were hurt _

_ by each and every unkept promise. _

 

“Hm?” Daniel looked at Phil with the biggest doe eyes he could conjure up.

 

“I… I really want to kiss you, I promise. It’s just… we shouldn’t.”

 

Daniel looked away and nodded.

 

“I’m sorry,” Phil said.

 

“It’s… it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

 

“It’s not fine.”

 

“No,” Daniel admitted. “I guess not.”

 

“The truth is, I… I do really like you, Dan. I wouldn’t have spent tonight with you if I didn’t. You know that, right?”

 

Daniel nodded again, remaining silent. He wasn’t sure if he knew that or not. He wasn’t sure if he believed it.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Daniel nodded for a third time. He looked up at Phil and gave as bright a smile as he was capable of giving.

 

Phil reached over and took hold of Daniel’s hand. “Someday,” he said. “Maybe.”

 

“Maybe.”

  
  


_ Is it okay to have days when we believe  _

_ that we exist to be happy someday? _

 

**Author's Note:**

> (If you haven't read wingless angel, they DO get together eventually. It just takes years because they're idiots lol.)
> 
> Chapter title & italic lyrics from "immature" by Ayumi Hamasaki.


End file.
